Why You Need 2 A.M Friends to Live a Better Life

Why do I say, “no thanks” when someone offers to help me? Why do I do that?! Why do we choose to tackle life on our own, when it’s so much better to do life together?! If you want to have someone there for you when life gets tough, read on to learn what it means to have a 2:00 A.M. friend.

What’s your definition of freedom?

I recently read the book “Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer, a fascinating story of young Chris McCandless, a well-to-do 23 year old graduate from Emory University who “goes into the wild” alone to find the meaning of life.    

Chris sought true freedom: the ability to do what he wanted on his own terms.  He denied his life’s advantages:  friends, family, possessions and connections.  Chris believed that purging himself of his past was the only way to ultimate and authentic happiness.

Let me ask you a question.  Aren’t we all a little like Chris, walking alone in search of meaning and happiness?  Isn’t there a better way?

Why are two better than one?

SPOILER ALERT:  Unfortunately for Chris the harsh backcountry of Alaska had its own plans for him.  After 112 days of walking the wilds he walked through death’s door.  He was 24 years old.

But there is something to learn from Chris’ misadventure.

Despite Chris’ passionate desire to find freedom in himself, Chris ultimately realized that he found true meaning in others.  Chris was a voracious reader and he highlighted the following passage in one of the last books he read:

[special]“And so it turned out that only a life similar to the life of those around us, merging with it without a ripple, is genuine life, and that an unshared happiness is not happiness…And that was the most vexing of all.” 

— Doctor Zhivago [/special]

Next to this text Chris had written:  “HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.”

Chris McCandless realized too late in his young life that happiness is only real when it’s shared with those you care for, and who care for you in return.    

I just finished reading “Into the Wild” when I came across this piece of advice:

“Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.  But how can one be warm alone?”  Ecc 4:9-11 NLT

I was shocked at how well it applied to poor Chris:

1. A friend could have helped Chris succeed in his adventure;
2. A friend could have reached out and helped Chris when he was too weak to help himself; and,
3. A friend could have kept Chris warm when he was freezing to death.

Find your 2 A.M. Friends

Are you trying to do life your own?  Do you feel the weight of loneliness sapping your strength?  If so, I have an answer for you:  2 A.M. Friends.

A person I admire often speaks about his 2 A.M. Friends – the friends that he can call at 2 A.M. when his life jumps the rails, when he needs help, when he’s on the edge. 

The true measure of a 2 A.M. Friend is not that you can call them at any time in the day or night.  What makes a true 2 A.M. Friend is that they’d be upset if you didn’t call them when life throws you that curve ball.  They’d be hurt, if you didn’t reach out to them in your time of need. 

Now wouldn’t you agree that’s a friend worth having!

2 A.M. Friends don’t come easily.  During your lifetime you’ll be able to count them on one hand, maybe two hands if you’re really lucky.  

Do you want to know how to get a 2 A.M. Friend?

Here’s the answer:  Be one!  Be a 2 A.M. Friend.

Be intentional about developing these relationships.  Invest time and energy into the friendship.  Be there for your friend.  Spend time knowing them.  Listen to them.  Ask empathetic questions, and keep your mouth shut.  

If you want to develop a deep relationship with someone else, the relationship can’t be about you.  It needs to be about them.  

When the time is right, let them know that you are their 2 A.M. Friend.  Make sure that your friend knows that they shouldn’t hesitate to call you when they’re in that dark place.  Tell them that no matter what you have going on, you’ll pick-up the phone when they call, and you’ll rush right over.

By going through the process of being a 2 A.M.Friend, you’ll find one for yourself.

Be Wise & Successful…

1. Don’t go at life alone.  There is futility in going at life alone, but there are great advantages to community and companionship.  

2. Develop communities around you.  Communities exist in all areas of our life.  Each community can serve a different purpose.  Family, Spiritual, Work, Personal.

3. Be a 2 A.M. Friend.  Be intentional about seeking out these friendships.  Invest in a handful of deep relationships, and reap the benefits of having your own 2 A.M. Friends.

• Think about who you can be a 2 A.M. Friend to.
• Make that call.
• And start authentically investing in that friendship.