Don’t Fear Change, Make It Your Friend

I nodded my head in agreement as I ran toward the big orange ball dropping into the Pacific Ocean.  Yes, sometimes you do have to kill the old to get on with the new.

I was listening to Jeff Goins’ rationale on why he killed his annual Tribe Conference, an event that generated 10 percent of his company’s revenue and brought him prestige and notoriety.  Most attendees called that conference a fantastic success.  But he killed something really good anyway, and the decision made perfect sense to me.

Jeff’s explanation resonated because I recently walked away from something very special.  I closed the door on a season of life where I built beautiful memories – 21 years in a great house in a beautiful community.

My wife and I traded our cushy, comfortable and predictable life for what we call our “nomad” life – we don’t know where we’ll settle or what life will bring us.  The road is open and we’re laying each brick as we go.

Many friends were confused by our decision.  They didn’t understand why we would turn our backs on what most in this world would pine for: friends, family and a fantastic community.

The questions came at us in disbelief:  What will you do?  How will you make friends?  Where will you live?  Why are you doing this?!

We don’t know the answers to all those questions, but we have a simple answer to the last and most important one:

BECAUSE WE WANTED TO.

In response we heard, “Well yeah, but most people just talk about upending their life, but they DON’T ACTUALLY DO IT!”

Well…WE did it.  Sometimes you have to chase a dream.  Sometimes you’re called to something different.  Sometimes you hunger for something more.  Sometimes you crave change.

Sure, change is scary, and change is hard, especially when life is going well.

But as I wrestled with the reality of leaving one season of life for the unknown, I realized my first lesson:

Lesson 1 – The fear of change is one of life’s biggest enemies.

The battle we fought wasn’t with the uncomfortable difficulty of unwinding 21 years of relationships and “stuff”; it was slaying the fear of the unknown.  It was purposefully leaving one good season of life for another, uncharted season.

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up. (Ec 3:1,3 NLTSE)

Instead of fearing change we chose to make change our friend.  We got ahead of it and determined to make change on our terms.  We wrote our next chapter because we didn’t want it written for us.

In my rearview mirror I also see my second lesson:

Lesson 2 – Only when you experience change, can you fully appreciate what you have or what you had.  

In hindsight I can see that I didn’t appreciate the last season as much as I should have.  Change now allows me to view those memories through a different lens.  I can see the good times I didn’t stop to notice, and I’m thankful for their impact on my life.  Yet I can also see, with regret, the missed opportunities for deeper friendships, family harmony and personal growth.

Change brings awareness.

As we stood in front of our house and snapped that last picture, the tears hurt, and our hearts ached.  But that’s what you have to do to move your life forward.  You have to endure some pain before you can enjoy the gain.

So, we turned off the lights, closed the front door, and walked out into a new beginning; into a future season of yet-to-be-realized memories.

Be wise and successful…

1.  Plan for your future.  Don’t let change happen to you, make change work for you.  Plan ahead and have a personal life strategy.

2. Enjoy the season you’re in.  Be present and thankful.  Make the most of your life.  You can’t change the past and worrying about the future won’t add a day to your life.  Plan and live your life, don’t just worry about it.

3. Don’t be afraid.  Just because one good season is ending, doesn’t mean that the next season won’t be better.  Yes, it will be different, but plan and hope and pray for something that is as good if not even more exciting.

4. Don’t wait too long.  Change only gets harder as you get older.  More stuff, more memories, but less energy and less runway.  Try something new while you’re healthy and can enjoy the new ride.