I catch a lot of grief for watching holiday Hallmark movies. Yes, they can be cheesy and idealistic, but I watched “About Write Before Christmas” the other night, and the movie is actually based on the science of gratitude!
The story kicks-off with Jessica being asked to dinner by her boyfriend. They’re going to the most romantic restaurant in town, they’ve been dating a while, it’s the holidays, dare she expect a ring?
Guess what, instead of rolling out the ring, he dumped her. And right before Christmas too; cold-hearted, right?
I’m sure life has thrown you similar curve balls. You expect a bowl of cherries, but get handed a sour lemon instead.
But let me share something with you.
The top performers in life understand how their brain works, and they harness the science of their brain to keep themselves mentally healthy.
I’ll share a strategy to do this, but first, here’s a quick lesson on how your brain works.
How your brain reacts to gratitude
Our brains are made up of billions of tiny nerve cells called neurons. Neurons are mini electrical switches that talk to each other through the release of chemicals called neurotransmitters.
These neurons are grouped together into different neurotransmitter systems, each system is a grouping of neurons that share mutual reactions, or release a particular type of neurotransmitter. The key point is that how you feel or react to any particular event is a function of what’s going on with these neurotransmitters.
But here’s the good news:
You can impact what neurotransmitters are being released by consciously thinking and acting in certain ways.
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances.” 1 Thess 5:18 (NLTSE)
I already used this quote in my post Gratitude: The Best Advice I’ve Ever Received, but there’s so much profound wisdom in “Be thankful in all circumstances” because it’s backed by neuroscience!
It means that you should consciously be thankful for something in all circumstances.
Numerous studies have shown that the conscious act of gratitude releases two main neurotransmitters: Dopamine and Serotonin.
Dopamine triggers positive emotions, it makes you feel optimistic and it’s linked to your ability to change bad habits.
Serotonin improves your mood and increases your motivation and willpower.
The amazing thing is, is that you can trigger the release of these chemicals by acting grateful.
With that as background, let’s go back to our friend Jessica.
Gratitude letters can improve your mental health
What do you think Jessica did after she got dumped?
Did she hit the bottle? Did she trash-talk her old flame? Did she wallow in self-pity? Of course not, this is the Hallmark Channel.
Instead, she wrote notes in the Christmas cards she was going to give her boyfriend, and mailed them to five people who positively impacted her life:
- The aunt that took care of her after the loss of her parents;
- The music teacher that nurtured her love of music;
- The boyband pop-star that was her teen heartthrob;
- Her kid brother in the military; and,
- Her best friend.
In fact, a well known research study related to suicidal patients indicated that sending gratitude letters to others was, “associated with substantial improvements in optimism” and, the findings were, “consistent with prior work that has linked gratitude to lower levels of depression, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts/attempts.”
Another research study divided 293 adults seeking psychotherapy services into three groups. One of the groups used the writing of gratitude letters to other people. The results of the research showed that the participants in the gratitude writing group, “reported significantly better mental health” than those in the other two cohorts.
So what happened to Jessica after writing her letters?
She re-kindled old friendships. She brought happiness to those who received her letters. She expanded her life into new relationships, and you guessed it, she got a new man.
So rib me as you may, I like a happy ending and, for that, I’m grateful for the Hallmark Channel.
Be Wise and Successful…
1. Take 15. Think of three people who positively influenced your life. Write down what they did for you, and how your life was changed by what they did.
2. Write 3 cards. Mail a card or letter to the above three people thanking them. It can be simple, something like: “<Name>, I was thinking about <insert event here>, and I wanted to thank you for what you did for me. Your <support/encouragement/gift> meant a lot to me. Thank you again, please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
3. Play it forward. Giving to others can also lead to gratitude. What can you do today to generate a grateful attitude in someone else?
Do you want to live a happier, more successful life? I’m Greg, that’s my passion, and that’s what I explore on my blog. Read More…