How To Beat Grief By Not Wasting A Hurt

A friend recently remarked to me, “Greg, there are no coincidences.”  How true.

I recently published two blog posts related to grief.  I had time to sit with the idea, observing tremendous grief from afar while supporting a friend mourning a heartbreaking loss.  Little did I know that a mere two weeks later, tragedy would strike at the heart of my own family.

A life was suddenly snatched from us.  A loving father taken from precious daughters.  A loving husband ripped away from his high school sweetheart.  A loving brother grabbed from his siblings.  And the world lost a great man who unconditionally loved and served his family and friends.

It’s hard to see the pain, to hear the angry cries and to wipe away the tears of those that you love.  Every day reveals a new hole in our lives that used to be filled by the man we lost. Every day is a harsh reminder of a new reality that we’d prefer not to live.

It’s impossible to go through such a loss and to not be changed. These are the moments that wake you up and shake you violently.   These are the moments you find yourself yelling, “Why?!” But, in my sorrow, I’m reminded of direction Rick Warren gives:

“Don’t waste a hurt.”

If you know anything about Rick Warren’s story, you know that he practices what he preaches.  He and his wife Kay lost their youngest son to suicide and use their personal experiences and public platform to create an amazing ministry serving people and families living with mental illness.  Rick and Kay use their devastating loss to provide hope, love and support to others struggling with similar pain.

Over a year ago when I first heard Rick say, “Don’t waste a hurt” I couldn’t  relate, but now I get it.  I’m to learn something from my pain and my hurt that changes how I live.  And then I should use what I’ve learned to journey alongside others who are experiencing what I’ve experienced.

“He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.” 2 Cor 1:4 NCV

As I look back over the last several weeks, I’m humbled by the acts of kindness and love shown by neighbors and co-workers, family, and friends.  I’m thankful for the encouragement, the hope, and the prayers that help make the grief and the pain a little more bearable.  The stories told, the experiences shared and the love of those who surrounded us, gave us strength to move forward.

And so, when I ask myself the question, “How do I not waste the hurt of this loss?”  I am overwhelmed by the responsibility because, in my mind, the most honoring thing I can do for the man we lost is to payback all the love and the comfort extended to us anytime that support is needed.

Be Wise and Successful…

1.  What hurts have you gone through?  Have you experienced divorce, financial hardships, abuse, addiction, or disability? What did you learn that you can use to help others?

2.  Is there someone you can reach out to today who might need some support you are uniquely equipped to deliver?  Is there a volunteer organization you can join which would benefit from your knowledge and experiences?

3.  Who supported you during your time of pain and hurt?  Take some time to be grateful for those people who stepped into your pain and, if appropriate, reach out to them and thank them again for their support.